by Kyle Chandler on Friday, December 9, 2011 at 12:01am
Why I’m Here
I’m here because I want to better my life in all aspects. I’m here
because I realized the life and life style I was living wasn’t going
to get me anywhere. When I was doing nothing but drinking alcohol all
day every day, that was all I cared about. I thought I had more
friends than anyone could ever ask for, but I didn’t really have any friends.
I didn’t care about people, getting a job, getting my license back,
furthering my education, or even myself. I only cared about one thing,
drinking, drugs, and partying. I’m here to help myself and others who
are going through similar troubles in their life and have encountered
the same problems as my own.
I thought I was happy with who I was and what I had become, I
wasn’t. I thought I was one of the happiest people I knew but I
wasn’t. I appeared to be happy on the outside, but on the inside I was
miserable. I didn’t have a license, I didn’t have a car, I didn’t have
a job, and I didn’t have my own place. I once had all these things but
eventually they all were taken away from me due to alcohol in some way
or another. I had freedom but that too was taken away from me time to
time as a result of my drinking. I had a beautiful girlfriend who
actually cared about me, but I was too busy getting drunk every day so
eventually she left me too. I had everything I needed in life and I
threw it all away because of alcohol and drugs.
I saw myself as a good person, but in reality I was a piece of
shit. I lied, I cheated, and stole to fuel my addiction. I stole money
from my dad, pawned his tools and many other things just so I could
buy alcohol and drugs. I lied to my father and told him I needed money
for this or that so I could go buy alcohol and drugs. I robbed people
some who I was friends with just so I could get high. I was selfish
and I didn’t care about anyone but myself.
I want to be successful in life. I want to have nice things. I want
to be a good person, and not who I once was. I don’t want to wake up
sick every morning because of what I had done the night before. I
don’t want to destroy relationships with people because of my words or
actions while I’m drinking. I don’t want to lie to my family and tell
them everything is going good when it really isn’t. I don’t want to be
in and out of jail for the rest of my life. When I have children I
want to be a role model, and a good father to them. I’m sober and I
would like to remain that way, that's why I'm here.